Dream Interpretation Anyone?

I’ve alluded to my recent troubles with my HD projector in here in anticipation of the Super Bowl blogging. After 3 years of dedicated service, the bulb that originally came with the projector finally moved on to the great recycle bin in the sky. Never in those three years did I have a single problem with the bulb and many sporting events, reality shows and home movies were enjoyed. Now it was time to replace this old friend and I searched the internet far and wide (I googled projector bulbs a couple of times). The manufacturer’s brand was more than twice as expensive as I one I found from a ‘reputable’ dealer (reputable meaning employees and friends of the owner of the company must have taken time to write positive feedback). In any case, I ordered the bulb.

Since then, I have had to send it back twice. The first bulb was dim and would flicker. The second bulb ‘popped’ on day 2. I am now on bulb number three, which arrived yesterday and was installed last night. Early results are mixed…and I fear an impending snap, crackle or pop from this one as well. It was with this mindset that I set my head upon my pillow last night and proceeded to dream…the following…

Since a projector bulb is clearly not sexy enough for dream fodder, I find myself driving around what seems to be an old European city in a bright red sports car – it may even be a Mitsubishi – which would be the same manufacturer as the projector (side note: perhaps ordering a projector from a company lacking product specialization was my first misstep). I am driving at unsafe speeds and talking on the cell phone to the customer service representative, who is not the faceless person with whom I’ve had discussions in the past, but is instead Bill Nye, the science guy (perhaps, he grew tired of teaching Ellen Degeneres about energy – *anyone, anyone?*). Well, this just in…Bill Nye is a DICK.

At least in my dream he was. I go on to tell him that my previous two expensive, fast red sports cars malfunctioned and this one was acting wonky as well (wonky being one of my favorite words of late).

Just as the science guy is insisting the problem must be operator error, I see a supermodel (good odds that this is Adriana Lima

 considering her recent Super Bowl ads) place what looks like a large, sharpened horn (think from the Ricola ads, but razor sharp) in my path and it catches my rear left tire, taking a basketball-sized hole out of it. Bill Nye screams “NO REFUNDS” into the phone as I struggle to control the sports car now careening into a crowd of people around a german pretzel/liverwurst kiosk. In the rear view mirror, I notice the supermodel hobbling away (she is dressed evocatively, with the exception that her left leg and right forearm are heavily Ace bandaged.)

I jump out of the car and immediately into Jason Bourne mode. I begin frantically chasing Ms. Lima through the throngs of people in this quaint hamlet who have now transformed into random, bandaged supermodels – making my task that much more difficult. I finally see her in the distance, headed toward a large mansion that somehow in my dream state I know is the lair of the evil customer service rep/malfunctioning sports car hocking Bill Nye. I also understand what must be done. I must infiltrate the mansion, locate Bill Nye’s car and take it as a replacement for my third clunker.

Details of mansion heist are fuzzy, though I do know that there was martial arts involved and somewhere along the way I picked up a companion. I only recall this because when we located Mr. Nye’s (Dr. Nye?) sports car (also red), as I jumped into the car through the driver side window, he slid across the hood Luke Duke-style and hopped in the passenger seat.

As I gunned the engine (where did I get the keys) and crashed through the garage door, one of those large transformer-like alien metal balls from the upcoming film Battleship (really, Hollywood? Battleship…this is where we are on new movie ideas?) pops up from under the garage floor and begins chasing us. I begin evasive maneuvers as the alien ball closes in…

…and then I wake up.

That’s it. A few obvious references. An evil scientist and a supermodel. Good versus evil. The dream itself was a pretty dramatic plot – and every bit as exciting as Battleship: The Movie – but it did lack a satisfying ending. Will I escape with the new car/bulb or will the evil Dr. Nye foil my attempts to watch the Dook-UNC game on the big screen. Stay Tuned.

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