9th Annual Inaugural April Fool’s Day Open to Raise Awareness Rules/Regulations/Suggestions/Apothegms/Words to Live By

 

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STEP 1: Choose someone to read the rules on each tee box.
STEP Egon From Ghostbusters: Check in on the FaceBooks…or Twitters…or FourSquare…or whatever the cool kids are doing these days…
STEP Phlegm: Rule Reader Person assign a Score Keeper Person…that person is in charge of math…math is hard
STEP 3Orange: Rule Reader Person start reading…have a fun day
STEP Purple: Please take pics/video

Format: Two person team. Both teammates tee off. Choose and use best ball, then alternate shots.
Course Rules: Please remember that this is not a Bur-Mil Park sanctioned event. If you are trading favors for tattoos, please do it behind the golf cart shed…and buy a few beers from Bur-Mil to make us appear bonafide.

AFDO Etiquette
• Triple bogey is max score. Other than relay holes, put the ball in your pocket after your 6th shot
• Please look at, fondle, get to know and remember your balls. Do not play with, hit or inappropriately touch another team’s balls. (After 5 jello shots this rule is void…play away…)
• Ready golf. Swing away when ready, but warn those ahead of you. (Do not swing if there is a chance you might hit them)
• Please let those not participating in the AFDO play through.
• Taunting is encouraged on every hole. Please verbal taunting only. If you provoke your opponent to the point they take a swing at you, deduct a stroke from your score. If they cry, 2 strokes.
• If you are in the last group, please bring the implements left on the tee box (tennis racquet, shovel, etc

Hole #1: Nothing But the Net Hole
• Consume one beer on this hole. Must be finished before leaving the 1st green. Save the beer can. Take it with you. Seriously.
• If you go over the net to the right, you are your Eight-some’s caddy for this hole. Carry all their stuff to the next tee box. (If more than one person goes over the net, share the load).
• Both team members drive; play best ball

Hole #2: Lady and the Tramp Hole
• On the tee box, prior to teeing off, each member of your team take an end of the provided hot dog in your mouth. Eat until the hot dog is gone. If any piece of the weenie hits the ground add 2 strokes to this hole’s score. (This is a good time to taunt)
• Tee off the beer can that you have been carrying with you. If you disposed of it, please drink another beer post haste
• Both team members drive; play best ball

 

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Hole #3: Funny…I Don’t Feel Wiffley Hole
• Use the Wiffle type ball provided, tee off with the tennis racquet.
• Only one Team member tees off. If the second team member is unhappy with the drive, and can retrieve it in less than 20 seconds they can take a turn with the tennis racquet. (Time them…if it takes more than 20 seconds add 2 strokes to their score)
• After the drive, switch to clubs. Alternate shot. Flag stick must be hit with the waffle-type ball.

Hole #4: Handwedge….mmmmmm…Sandwich…Hole
• Eat some jello
• Each team member throws their drive.
• Choose the best ball.
• Alternate shot, throw/roll your ball until it is in the hole.

Hole #5: That is Just Not Right, Baby Hole
• Alan and Liz almost have a baby name. It is not very funny. Each team come up with a name that they should name their baby (Gomer Akeem is already taken), and text it to Alan
• Take the baby booty provided. Place it on the head of a golf club. Each team member hold the club at the grip for the entire hole.
• Carry the booty to the hole and drop it in the cup.
• If you drop the booty, stop and replace it on the head of your club.
• First team to get the booty in the hole gets a 1, 2nd team a 2, etc.
• I just like typing “get the booty in the hole.
• EXTREME TAUNTING HOLE

Hole #6: Choose Your Weapon Hole
• Tee off using either the Shovel, Jai Alai Stick, Jr Driver or Kiddo Bat.
• Each team member must use a different driving implement.
• Both team members drive; play best ball
• If Caddy Chairman for Life, Ben Owen, refers to the Jai Alai Stick as a Lacrosse Stick, please taunt him mercilessly.

Hole #7: Dance, Too Much Booty in the Pants, Twerking Flash Mob Hole
• Everyone stand in a circle. Using a tee (or can or club or something), throw it in the air. Whoever it points to is first. Keep doing that until you have your tee off order.
• First person tees off.
• They then go to the tee marker in the sightline of a right handed golfer and begin Twerking. (Feel free to sing or play a Twerking song on your phone so that it makes sense…and you don’t look silly.)
• The next person in the rotation tees off. Then joins the Twerkfest.
• Continue until all have teed off and are twerking.
• Both team members drive; play best ball

Hole #8: Don’t Be a Disc Hole
• One member of the team tees off with a Frisbee (if you have ever traveled to compete in a Frisbee competition, you must throw with your non-dominant hand and have your eyes closed)
• Alternate shot until the disc hits the flag.
• Jello and extreme taunting hole (eat some jello and make fun of each other’s Frisbee chucking ability

Hole #9: PingityPongity Race to the Hole Hole
• All teams choose a tee-er-offer. All tee-er-offers line up on the tee box
• Tee off with the ping-pong ball (do it at the same time…count down or something to coordinate synchronicity).
• As soon as everyone has teed off, run to your next shot.
• Race to the hole, alternate shot.
• First ping-pong ball in the hole scores a 1, 2nd a 2, etc.

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PROCEED TO AWARDS CEREMONY AT THE BACK OF MIKE D’S EXPLODER

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