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  • Mike D. 12:29 pm on March 30, 2014 Permalink | Reply  

    9th Annual Inaugural April Fool’s Day Open to Raise Awareness Rules/Regulations/Suggestions/Apothegms/Words to Live By 



    STEP 1: Choose someone to read the rules on each tee box.
    STEP Egon From Ghostbusters: Check in on the FaceBooks…or Twitters…or FourSquare…or whatever the cool kids are doing these days…
    STEP Phlegm: Rule Reader Person assign a Score Keeper Person…that person is in charge of math…math is hard
    STEP 3Orange: Rule Reader Person start reading…have a fun day
    STEP Purple: Please take pics/video

    Format: Two person team. Both teammates tee off. Choose and use best ball, then alternate shots.
    Course Rules: Please remember that this is not a Bur-Mil Park sanctioned event. If you are trading favors for tattoos, please do it behind the golf cart shed…and buy a few beers from Bur-Mil to make us appear bonafide.

    AFDO Etiquette
    • Triple bogey is max score. Other than relay holes, put the ball in your pocket after your 6th shot
    • Please look at, fondle, get to know and remember your balls. Do not play with, hit or inappropriately touch another team’s balls. (After 5 jello shots this rule is void…play away…)
    • Ready golf. Swing away when ready, but warn those ahead of you. (Do not swing if there is a chance you might hit them)
    • Please let those not participating in the AFDO play through.
    • Taunting is encouraged on every hole. Please verbal taunting only. If you provoke your opponent to the point they take a swing at you, deduct a stroke from your score. If they cry, 2 strokes.
    • If you are in the last group, please bring the implements left on the tee box (tennis racquet, shovel, etc

    Hole #1: Nothing But the Net Hole
    • Consume one beer on this hole. Must be finished before leaving the 1st green. Save the beer can. Take it with you. Seriously.
    • If you go over the net to the right, you are your Eight-some’s caddy for this hole. Carry all their stuff to the next tee box. (If more than one person goes over the net, share the load).
    • Both team members drive; play best ball

    Hole #2: Lady and the Tramp Hole
    • On the tee box, prior to teeing off, each member of your team take an end of the provided hot dog in your mouth. Eat until the hot dog is gone. If any piece of the weenie hits the ground add 2 strokes to this hole’s score. (This is a good time to taunt)
    • Tee off the beer can that you have been carrying with you. If you disposed of it, please drink another beer post haste
    • Both team members drive; play best ball


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    Hole #3: Funny…I Don’t Feel Wiffley Hole
    • Use the Wiffle type ball provided, tee off with the tennis racquet.
    • Only one Team member tees off. If the second team member is unhappy with the drive, and can retrieve it in less than 20 seconds they can take a turn with the tennis racquet. (Time them…if it takes more than 20 seconds add 2 strokes to their score)
    • After the drive, switch to clubs. Alternate shot. Flag stick must be hit with the waffle-type ball.

    Hole #4: Handwedge….mmmmmm…Sandwich…Hole
    • Eat some jello
    • Each team member throws their drive.
    • Choose the best ball.
    • Alternate shot, throw/roll your ball until it is in the hole.

    Hole #5: That is Just Not Right, Baby Hole
    • Alan and Liz almost have a baby name. It is not very funny. Each team come up with a name that they should name their baby (Gomer Akeem is already taken), and text it to Alan
    • Take the baby booty provided. Place it on the head of a golf club. Each team member hold the club at the grip for the entire hole.
    • Carry the booty to the hole and drop it in the cup.
    • If you drop the booty, stop and replace it on the head of your club.
    • First team to get the booty in the hole gets a 1, 2nd team a 2, etc.
    • I just like typing “get the booty in the hole.

    Hole #6: Choose Your Weapon Hole
    • Tee off using either the Shovel, Jai Alai Stick, Jr Driver or Kiddo Bat.
    • Each team member must use a different driving implement.
    • Both team members drive; play best ball
    • If Caddy Chairman for Life, Ben Owen, refers to the Jai Alai Stick as a Lacrosse Stick, please taunt him mercilessly.

    Hole #7: Dance, Too Much Booty in the Pants, Twerking Flash Mob Hole
    • Everyone stand in a circle. Using a tee (or can or club or something), throw it in the air. Whoever it points to is first. Keep doing that until you have your tee off order.
    • First person tees off.
    • They then go to the tee marker in the sightline of a right handed golfer and begin Twerking. (Feel free to sing or play a Twerking song on your phone so that it makes sense…and you don’t look silly.)
    • The next person in the rotation tees off. Then joins the Twerkfest.
    • Continue until all have teed off and are twerking.
    • Both team members drive; play best ball

    Hole #8: Don’t Be a Disc Hole
    • One member of the team tees off with a Frisbee (if you have ever traveled to compete in a Frisbee competition, you must throw with your non-dominant hand and have your eyes closed)
    • Alternate shot until the disc hits the flag.
    • Jello and extreme taunting hole (eat some jello and make fun of each other’s Frisbee chucking ability

    Hole #9: PingityPongity Race to the Hole Hole
    • All teams choose a tee-er-offer. All tee-er-offers line up on the tee box
    • Tee off with the ping-pong ball (do it at the same time…count down or something to coordinate synchronicity).
    • As soon as everyone has teed off, run to your next shot.
    • Race to the hole, alternate shot.
    • First ping-pong ball in the hole scores a 1, 2nd a 2, etc.

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  • Mike D. 5:09 pm on March 27, 2014 Permalink | Reply  

    9th Annual Inaugural April Fool’s Day Open to Raise Awareness Frequently Asked Questions 

    Please see below for all the questions we have received at least once. In the case of this event, once = frequently. If you see a question that is not addressed, please scroll through Cheese is Funny to see if we’ve hit it in years past. If not, or you just don’t have time (like you’re just tooooo busy to laugh and laugh…) feel free to post your query in the “reply” space below.

    Q: Why is it important to fill out the registration form? I said I was coming on The FaceBooks.   A: Hundreds of people say they are coming on The FaceBooks just to witness the witty banter that happens pre-AFDO. By filling out the registration form, you not only let us know that you are planning on attending or spectating, but also, whether or not you have a playing partner. Plus, your answers help us design your personalized gift package.

    Q: Is there a rain plan? A: Yes. We plan for it not to rain.

    Q: Yeah, but, for cereal…what if it rains.   A: We’ll back up and punt. It is going to be 70 degrees. We may play in the rain. We may wait it out. We may head directly to TalkSoftly Tavern, have our awards presentation there, then adjourn to Good Intentions for a Jello Shot Wrestling Party. We may defer to alternate plans for a day drinking event (ie bar crawl, bar golf, golf crawl, etc). But, really…it’s not going to rain.

    Q: Do we need golf clubs? A: Yes. Although not golf, this is a golf-like event. Bring the clubs you would usually use for par 3. At the very least bring a short iron and a putter. Also, bring your own golf balls.

    Q: I’ve heard rumors that Miley Cyrus is going to make an appearance for the New Flash Mob Twerking Hole. True? A: Yes

    Q: Will I need to learn how to twerk before Saturday? A: At least figure out how to fake it.


    Q: Can we have beer? A: Bur-Mil does not allow outside alcohol. Please buy your beer from Bur-Mil. (However, we always buy them out before noon…you may want to bring some cans of something with you…no bottles).

    Q: What is the deal with the costumes?   A: I have no idea. We’ve never said anything about wearing costumes. It just kind of happened. Costumes aren’t required, but you are more likely to win a semi-intrinsically valuable prize if you look a little silly. Most participants at least wear a funny hat or shirt or something.

    Q: I know that Kenny L, one of the Rules Committee members, was recently shunned due to too many slippery eel references. What does that even mean? A: Please know that Shunning is not to punish, but to show the errors of one’s ways. In this case, please do not look at or speak to Kenny L. If it is absolutely necessary to communicate with him, write the message on a note and staple it to the top of his right foot (that’s the lucky one). If you do not have a staple one will be provided for you.

    Q: I would like to apply for the sweet, sweet role of Caddy Chairmanship next year.   A: We’re sorry, we have already appointed Ben Owen Caddy Chairman for Life. So, that role is filled for the next couple years, probably.

    Q: I forgot to call Caddy Chairman for Life, Ben Owen, and request a caddy.   A: It’s not too late. Caddy Chairman for Life, Ben Owen, will be fulfilling requests up until 10:36 Saturday a.m. Caddy requests must be made by phone, smoke signal or carrier pigeon. Just because you saw Ben in a bar and asked for a caddy, don’t expect him to remember that.

    Q: That reminds me, what time do I need to be there?   A: Kick off is High Noon O’Clock, just like always. So please be at the course by 11:32 in order to sign in, receive your personalized gift package, rules, and pairings info.

    Q: This event does so much good and raises so much awareness. Have you considered choosing a cause?   A: You’re not allowed to ask any more questions.

  • Mike D. 5:52 pm on March 23, 2014 Permalink | Reply  

    9th Annual Inaugural April Fool’s Day Open to Raise Awareness Registration Form, Disclaimers, Etc. 

    Those that lived through it this year.

    8th AFDO Participants

    The AFDO is upon us. Kick off is Sat, 3/29/14 at High Noon O’Clock. If you are planning or playing or spectating, please fill out the following form. By filling out this form you waive all (sorry…verbiage yet to be determined by Cheese is Funny crack legal team). (Don’t worry…Heberble is a lawyer…but he’s watching the Carolina game right now, so I’m going to get him to fill in the legal stuff later.)  Please fill out the form by 8:00 am, Friday, March 28, 2018.  If you can’t make the call until later Fri or Saturday am, give us a “maybe”,  so we can kind of plan for you.

    Many of you have asked about costumes…and rain…and prizes…and gift bags…and a bunch of other inane crap. We’ll get back to you. Maybe.

    If you have not called AFDO Caddy Chairman for Life, Ben Owen at 336-(insert Ben’s name here) (…sigh…still not kidding), please do so post haste. If you need a caddy, please let Ben know. If you do not need a caddy, please let Ben know. If you have ideas about ways that Ben could improve the Caddy Chairmanship please let Ben know. If you just want to congratulate Ben on securing this sweet, sweet position, please let him know. The important thing is that you call him. A lot. He’s very lonely.


    Thanks so much. Looking forward to it. If you have any questions, comments, complaints, concerns, cumquats, please feel free to share them in the “Reply” area below.


    AFDO Registration Committee

    • Allison 8:19 pm on March 25, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Did you see my long pairing comment above?

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