Updates from April, 2013 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Heberble 1:36 pm on April 8, 2013 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: 000., Bill Gates. $5   

    Hey gang. Just got this in from Bill Gates. Really hoping to get a good swift kick in the junk. After all, if it was on facebook, it must be true, right? Anyways, it couldn’t hurt.

    Its worth a shot

  • Mike D. 3:08 pm on April 4, 2013 Permalink | Reply  

    8th Annual Inaugural April Fool’s Day Open to Raise Awareness Rules/Regulations/Suggestions/Apothegms/Words to Live By 


    STEP 1: Choose a Rule Reader Person…that person is responsible for reading this silliness on each tee box                      

    Those that lived through it this year.

    Those that lived through it this year.

    STEP 1.3: Check in on the FaceBooks…there is a chance that I remembered to create a location with my iThingy

    STEP 2: Rule Reader Person assign a Score Keeper Person…that person is in charge of math

    STEP 7: Rule Reader Person start reading…have a fun day

    STEP OFF: Please take pics/video…someday people will never believe this stuff….

    Format: Two person teams. Both teammates tee off. Choose and use best ball, then alternate shots.

    Course Rules: Please remember that this is not a Bur-Mil Park sanctioned event. If you are trading favors for tattoos, please do it behind the golf cart shed…and buy a few beers from Bur-Mil to make us appear bonafide.

    AFDO Etiquette

    · Triple bogey is max score. Other than relay holes, put the ball in your pocket after your 6th shot (…and take a 6, genius…sheesh…)

    · Please look at, fondle, get to know and remember your balls. Do not play with, hit or inappropriately touch another team’s balls. (After 5 jello shots this rule is void…play away…)

    · Ready golf. Swing away when ready, but warn those ahead of you. (Do not swing if there is a chance you might hit them)

    · Please let those not participating in the AFDO play through.

    · Taunting is encouraged on every hole. Please verbal taunting only. If you provoke your opponent to the point they take a swing at you, deduct a stroke from your score. If they cry, 2 strokes.

    · If you are in the last group, please bring the implements left on the tee box (tennis racquet, shovel, etc)

    Hole #1: The Great Equalizer Hole

    • Consume one beer prior to teeing off. Save the beer can. Seriously…carry the damn thing with you
    • If you hit or go over the net to the right, have a jello shot…you’re in for a long day anyway…might as well get buzzed up.

    Hole #2: The “Hey Wait…This is the 8th Year? Sweet! That’s What I Normally Shoot on This Hole” Hole

    • Tee off the beer can that you have been carrying with you. If you disposed of it, please drink another beer post haste
    • Both team members drive; play best ball

    Hole #3: “This Shovel Would Make a Fabulous Gift” Hole

    • Please say something nice about our sponsor, The Fabulous Gift, on The FaceBooks or the Twitters…I would make it awareness related, but I don’t want to stifle your creativity…heck you could even put a link to their website: http://www.thefabulousgift.com
    • Tee off with the shovel (both team members hit, use best ball)

    This slideshow requires JavaScript.


    Hole #4: “Ummmm, What? He’s Actually Ordained…You’re F-ing Kidding Me…Nope…He’s An Ordained Monk of the Universal Life Church…May Have Him Do My Wedding…Just Kidding” Hole

    • Before you tee off, each team member must publicly admit some law you have broken. (if you say speeding everyone gets to kick you in the jimmy…If you have never broken a law you may want to get better friends…and just admit something bad you’ve done…nekked…). As penance each team member does a jello shot and 1 Hail Mike D. (if you wish and your law breaking is impressive you may do more than one Hail Mike D./jello shot).  Hail Mike D reads:   Hail Mike D, you are the monk. I wish you ruled the world.  Thou art blessed among Yosefs…and tasty is the fruit of thy jello. Suave Mike D, you are king, pray for us now at the hour of our AFDO.    (You may insert your own line here or just say “Amen”)                                  
    • Once you’re done, keep the clubs in the bag. Throw each shot. 1 drive per team. Alternate throw. Keep track of how many throws/rolls it takes to get it in the hole. That is your score.

      Our group had an actual fake priest read the Hail Mike D.

      Our group had an actual fake priest read the Hail Mike D.

    Hole #5: “Your Vegetable is Calling” Hole

    • After the first ball in the group is teed no one can show their teeth until the last person in your 8-some (or 10-some) has teed off.
    • You can’t cover your mouth
    • If someone sees your teeth you have to drink
    • Before you tee off you have to yell “Calling all vegetables. Calling all vegetables. This is Raising Raising, calling Awareness Awareness.” (without showing your teeth)
    • BONUS: This is an Extreme Taunting Hole. Taunt away…but, no teeth…that’s what she said…

    Hole #6: “Your Balls Aren’t Just Blue…They’re a Rainbow…Ungood-Psy-San” Hole

    • Each team, using a lacrosse thrower thingy tees off 1 multi-colored rubber ball.  (ONLY 1 TEAM MEMBER TEES OFF)
    • After all teams have teed off, Rule Reader Person will yell “OPPAN GANGAM STYLE”. Then everyone will do the GANGAM STYLE dance and sing. After 4 rounds of the dance the Rule Reader Person will yell “DO THE HARLEM SHAKE.” Then it is an alternate shot (hitting the rubber ball with golf clubs) race to the hole. First team to hit the stick w/ their multi-colored ball scores a 1. Second a 2…and so on…
    • Failure to abide by the alternate shot rule scores a 7. Police yourselves…we’re all friends here…
    • (Have someone take the balls back to the tee for the next group…and video them doing the Gangam Style stuff…oh, and the running…the running is always funny.)

    Hole #7: “Hey Joanne…That’s Quite a Racquet You Have There…is it new?” Hole

    Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

    Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

    • Say something nice about Joanne’s Boobs. If she is not in your group, please say it loudly enough for her to hear.
    • Tee off with the tennis racquet (each team member tees off…play best ball

    Hole #8: Blue Steel Hole

    • Pose. Take a Blue Steel pic…You may make the calendar.
    • Tee off with the dog-ball-thrower-thingy.
    • Both teammates tee off…play best ball

    Hole #9: “And then Jesus Rose From the Dead and Brought Cadbury Eggs to all the Good Boys and Girls” Hole

    • Both teammates tee off. Use best ball. When you get on the green, replace your ball with a Cadbury Egg and putt out.
    • Go to church…sinner.

    This slideshow requires JavaScript.

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