Hey gang. Just got this in from Bill Gates. Really hoping to get a good swift kick in the junk. After all, if it was on facebook, it must be true, right? Anyways, it couldn’t hurt.
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Heberble
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Heberble
First tee
This is going to be a long day. If you hit it over the net, you have to impregnate your playing partner
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Heberble
AFDO pairings party
Delicious Bakery sponsors the pairings party with some amazing pimento cheese (it’s funny) and salted caramel brownies. It isn’t quite noon and Bur-Mil is already sold out of beer.
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Heberble
Well…thanks again to our reader(s?) for joining us tonight. The show itself was pretty intolerable. I hope we were able to bring some humor and fun into your Oscar experience without the threat of ever imparting any actual movie knowledge. Thanks too to Jason, Nina, Angie, Leigh Ann, The Second Levy Twin and any other commenters…
Not sure when we’ll be ‘live’ again, but keep checking in, because we tend to keep bringing the funny.
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Mike D.
We’re reevaluating our live blogging strategy. Four hour shows that end around zero am and contain little to no funny are not making the cut. Thanks all. Love ya, mean it.
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JasonP
Thanks for letting me play along. But, not thanks for making me watch the Oscars. Except JLo’s boobs.
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nita
thanks! enjoyed it!
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Heberble
I meant Nita, not Nina
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Heberble
I hope the RCA Victor dog shits on the stage.
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JasonP
That would be the perfect capper to the night. (crapper to the night?)
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Heberble
Artist 2:1
Hugo 5:1
The Help 6:1Everyone else 15:1
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JasonP
Artist: 1:1. Wait, that’s a sucky bet
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Leigh Anne
I picked The Artist…but I hope it’s The Help.
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Leigh Anne
(o;
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Leigh Anne
Uggie tipped the ballot (o;
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Heberble
Praise Lord Xenu
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JasonP
No surprise there.
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Heberble
Nine? C’mon Academy….you need to be able to narrow down your nominations…
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JasonP
Especially this dreck
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JasonP
Not that I’ve seen any of them. Except “Moneyball”. Which was entertaining, but I certainly wouldn’t vote for it.
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Mike D.
Since there are no horses in the audience we know that one’s not getting it…
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Mike D.
Pretty sure my prediction of artsy-fartsyest is safe.
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JasonP
Lol. That is the perfect explanation for why it won.
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Mike D.
Boom. shaka. Laka. It’s like I’m psychic.
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Heberble
Hm. Another lifetime achievement award
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Heberble
So. Hugo wins the first half of the Oscars. Seems like The Artist is winning the second half. I guess it has been awhile since a silent film won. On an unrelated note, glad to see Deepak Chopra has got himself a gig.
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Heberble
Patton Oswalt story. Before both he was married and before I was married, I awkardly (and futilely) hit on his now-wife…I haven’t always been smooth and debonair. Surprising, I know.
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JasonP
So what you’re saying is, you lost a woman to Patton Oswalt.
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The 2nd Levy Twin
OUCH!
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Heberble
I lost her to my drunken ineptitude. Patton smartly picked up the pieces
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JasonP
Whatever makes you feel better.
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JasonP
Says the single guy to the guy with the amazing gorgeous wife…
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Heberble
Yes…well, I wan’t going to mention it.
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Lara
Like! 😉
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The 2nd Levy Twin
Can the village idiot be debonair?
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JasonP
So – I kinda like Natalie Portman summarizing all the movies for me. Maybe I can get her to come do that for me every couple weeks…
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Heberble
Good idea. Try hitting on her while you’re drunk, after a booze cruise, after you’d just been broken up with by another woman. This is a winning move.
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JasonP
Sounds like most of my moves.
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Mike D.
It would probably go differently now that you’re the author of a blog that gets tens of hits a day.
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Heberble, 
nita, 
JasonP, and 1 other are discussing. 
Leigh Anne, 
Lara, 
Cheese is Funny 
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