7th Annual Inaugural (That Mean’s “First”, J. Alex) April Fool’s Day Open to Raise Awareness Frequently Asked Questions  

Each year the AFDO Rules Committee is inundated with literally tens of questions regarding the event. If this document does not address the question you have in mind, please feel free to contact Ben “Caddy Chairman For Life” Owen. (Henceforth, let “Frequently” mean “at least once” or “anticipated”)

Q: What the hell is this all about anyway?

A: A few years ago, a few friends set out one warm day to play Par 3. They realized it was April Fool’s Day, made up some rules, got hammered, fell down…and an event was born. Last year we had 4 eight-somes playing and a gallery of 10 or so.

Q: Who is this J. Alex character? 

J. Alex chipping away from the green

A: One of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. However, his affinity for Clemson Football and brown liquor once caused him to question what language was spoken in England. He is also one of the founders of this event, and more importantly The Cheap Shot Hole.

Q: What is The Cheap Shot Hole?

A: *shudder* The first year was a shot of warm Aristocrat vodka for every stroke over par on one hole…we have since graduated to jello.

Q: Are caddies really provided?

A: Yes. Please call Ben “Caddy Chairman for Life” Owen to reserve your caddy. I’m not going to publish his number here on the intertubes for all to see; however, close your eyes and try to guess his number…336-???-????…try harder…I guarantee you can guess it…if you can’t figure out that his name has 7 letters please call/email me and I will provide it…and ridicule you more than I did him when he got that silly number.

Q: Seriously? You promise that if I call him I’ll get a caddy? Because last year when I called he seemed pissed.

A: That’s just his way. He prefers calls very early in the morning or late at night. He may be a vampire.

Q: Is alcohol allowed?

A: They sell beer at Bur-Mil. Please purchase it there. We are trying to stay on their good side.

Q: Is this a Bur-Mil sanctioned event?

A: No. However, they seem to appreciate the business. We let others play through the silliness.

Q: I heard Snookie is going to be there…is this true?

A: Yes.

Q: Really?

A: Does the AFDO Rules Committee seem like a group who would just make something like that up? Come on by and get your Snook on…free pictures and lap dances for the kids.

Q: Does this mean children are welcome?

A: Of course…if you don’t mind your kids witnessing this level of debauchery. But, don’t blame us if DSS is waiting on the 9th hole to take them away from you.

Q: I don’t play golf. Am I welcome?

A: We actually discourage real golfers from playing. This is a “golf-like” activity that purists may not enjoy.

Q: You let the guy who came up with The Slippery Eel Hole back onto the committee. Was that wise?

A: No…but, he’s a sponsor.

Q: Do we need golf clubs?

A: Finally…an intelligent question (Just kidding…this is a golf-like event…of course you need clubs.) Bring the clubs you would normally use to play Par 3 (7-iron, 9-iron or wedge, putter). There will be other implements used to strike the ball at various times, but they will be provided.

Some holes have an added degree of difficulty.

Q: Is there a dress code?

A: This event celebrates April Fool’s Day and Raising Awareness. Please dress appropriately. Women are encouraged to wear something slinky.

Q: Let me get this straight. Snookie is going to be there. All players get a gift package. Everyone is welcome in the Hospitality tent for free food and drink. This sounds too good to be true.

A: That’s not a question.

Q: Ok. This thing sounds pretty expensive to put on…where does the funding come from?

A: Sponsorships, plus Snookie is paying us a huge appearance fee.

Q: What exactly are you raising awareness for?

A: We get this question every year.

***If you have a question that was not addressed or have a follow up question, and are unable to reach Ben “Caddy Chairman for Life” Owen, please do not hesitate to ask. If you feel your question is too embarrassing to ask in this public forum, please use the “Contact Us” feature at the top of the page. (Disclaimer: Using the “Contact Us” feature does not guarantee we will not attach your name to the embarrassing question.)

Note the Raising Awareness ribbons.